About Me

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San Antonio, TX, United States
I am blessed beyond measure. I have a genius husband with a slick sense of humor, a sassy and smart 4 old and another miracle baby girl expected to arrive late January 2011. I love my family, my church, my home, my friends and mostly my awesome God.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.....

Last Friday night, Daniel and I enjoyed a wonderful date night during Parent's Night Out at our church. We drop Sabrina off and get to enjoy 5 hours all to ourselves. We tried out the new Alamo Drafthouse Cinema that just opened a couple of miles from our house (you can not imagine how happy this movie-lovin-mama is to live so close to a movie theatre!), saw a HILARIOUS movie, Morning Glory, and enjoyed a meal, all at the same time! I'm lovin this! However, I was having quite a few contractions during the movie and my feet were really swollen. Like REALLY swollen. After we got home, put Sabrina to bed and started getting ready for bed ourselves, I noticed that the contractions were NOT going away. So I started to keep track because my doctor had said if I had more than four rhythmic contractions in an hour, to call the office. Well, I had six. And I checked my blood pressure and it was SKY HIGH. So I called. The doctor on-call, Dr. Dabbous (another doctor in the practice) called me right back and said I should go to Labor and Delivery. Wow. It's like one in the morning now. So we start making phone calls. Daniel's parents came to stay at the house with Sabrina...we didn't want to wake her up or have her with us at the hospital (it would probably scare her and we didn't want to worry about keeping her entertained). And we headed out to the hospital.

Long story short...... I was discharged nine hours later. Getting the IV in was the absolute worst part as I'm not known for having good veins and being dehydrated (so they said) only made matters worse. Four attempts, at least 3 different nurses, a lot of screaming and crying from me, and it was finally in. The rest of the stay was a breeze. They monitored the baby and me very closely and I was in fact, having contractions pretty close together. After taking blood for testing, checking my urine for protein (a sign of pre-eclampsia, which I had with Sabrina) and monitoring my contractions, it was decided that I would get an injection to stop the contractions. They could give it to me every fifteen minutes, depending on how I responded. I only had to have one dose and it did the trick. They continued to pump me full of fluids and then about 11am, I was able to go back home, exhausted due to sleeping only about an hour, but happy that all was under control. I am so blessed and thankful that my amazing, supportive husband was with me the whole time, suffering right along with me, holding my hand while I nearly crushed his fingers during the IV incident, and just generally taking good care of me. But the baby is fine, I'm fine and we hope she stays inside to cook a little while longer.

So yesterday, I went to the Maternal-Fetal Care Specialist to take my four hour course on Gestational Diabetes (GDM). It covered all the q&as, meal plan, how to check your blood sugar, and how to give yourself insulin. I was not prepared for that last part. I was told when I got the test results of my 3 hour glucose test (which I flunked with flying colors) that I would be able to attempt to control my glucose level with diet first, then insulin if it didn’t work. Not so, apparently. In the first five minutes of meeting with nurse Pam (who was a wonderful teacher, by the way), that because my fasting glucose was a 96, and the number I was trying to beat was 95, I had to start insulin immediately. The reason is that your fasting glucose result has nothing to do with your diet because you’ve been sleeping, not eating, prior to taking that test. So diet is just not gonna help you in that regard. Insulin is mandatory. I really thought that I was mentally and physically prepared for this new challenge of living with gestational diabetes….until I was told that I had to take insulin 4 times a day. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down in tears right there across from nurse Pam (and another GDM mom, Norma, my classmate). But I held it together and recited these words…… “10 weeks. You can do anything for 10 weeks.”

By the end of the four hours, my head was literally swimming with information, some of which still didn’t quite make sense. It’s all about how you “count” your food, and not all of it is logical. To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement.

I also received my glucose meter and got to practice step-by-step how to check my blood glucose levels. The finger prick was not nearly as bad as the one I had gotten on Saturday at the hospital. It gave me hope that I could do this. But then we moved on to the insulin shots.

These are much different than pricking your finger. First of all, the needle isn’t just poking you, it’s injecting medicine. And you have to hold the needle in for 10 seconds. Oh, here’s the best part….you have to inject it in your abdomen. Yep, sounds fun, doesn’t it? We didn’t practice this part in the classroom, just went through the motions without actually doing the sticking part. That would be done right before I ate my dinner meal at home.

I left the doctor’s office at 5pm, picked up Sabrina from my step-mother (who lives close by the office) and started the trek home in rush-hour traffic. Sabrina was immediately in a bad mood (though I was told she had a wonderful time with Nannie) and was demanding a snack even though we were just an hour from dinner. When I told her no, she threw a fit and that pushed me over the edge. I cried the rest of the way home. Sabrina was completely silent until we pulled into the garage.

Finally, I had reached the sanctuary of home and could let my emotions take over. I’m a crier. It’s who I am. I have to let it out. And it’s not a pretty sight. So I had my breakdown, a hot shower and then proceeded to prepare myself for my first insulin injection.

I must have done it wrong, because it hurt. A lot. And that just made me cry again. And this was standing in the kitchen in front of Sabrina and Daniel who were starting to eat their dinner. Sabrina was concerned and unsure of what was going on and I didn’t have the energy or the words yet to describe what was happening. Daniel pacified her for the moment, I collected myself and finished dinner. I had to have one more shot right before bedtime and I let Daniel attempt this one hoping for better results. It didn’t hurt at all! Praise God! Now, the challenge would be to see if I could do it myself.

This morning I had to do two injections right before breakfast. I was nervous and my mind was chaotic trying to make sure I had the right breakfast choices, get Sabrina’s breakfast and lunch packed, my lunch and a snack packed with the choices I had in my pantry and fridge and get us both ready and out of the door on time to go to school and work. Tuesday is my longest day of the week because after I get off work, I take Sabrina to dance class right after I pick her up from Mother’s Day Out. That means I have to have her dance bag and a snack packed for her also. But I gave myself a good pep talk, said a prayer and did both injections. And it didn’t hurt. Praise the Lord! I was so proud of myself and I knew I could do it. It won’t be easy, it will be a pain in the neck, actually. Well, a pain in the stomach and fingers......But I can do it.

So here is a picture I took today of all the “stuff” that goes with Gestational Diabetes. It's kind of overwhelming looking at all of that. But as I look at it, I realize that it just doesn't matter how hard it's going to be. I do it because I have no choice. I would do anything for this baby girl. I love her and want to keep her healthy. I'm so thankful that after all that we have been through for this baby, we will have a miracle little girl to love and cherish for always. I have to remind myself of that when I'm feeling selfish, depressed and downright full of self-pity about how unfair this all is....... I know there are countless couples, men and women who long for a child and are unable to conceive, who desperately want the titles of "Mommy and Daddy" and who will never experience the joy that I am so abundantly blessed with already. I’m so incredibly overjoyed that God has blessed me with this baby and I don’t care how much it hurts, how inconvenient it is, how much effort it requires, how expensive it is, or how unfair it is…… I will do it because I love her. How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

1 comment:

  1. You "get to" do all that to take care of your baby!! Hope all goes well.

    I'm SO excited you have a blog!! Welcome to "our" world. :)